Who Labeled You?

Growing up for me was interesting. Although I have only two biological siblings, I grew up with so many “aunties” and “uncles”, most of whom were not related to me. My parents love people. They love to be around people they consider their sons and daughters. They love the noise, the constant chatter and fun that come with having many people under one roof. They’re so large-hearted, my parents. I saw them invest their time, prayers, sweat, living space, money and emotional energy on many whom they saw as their spiritual children.

For the most part, growing up with that many people was fun – from sitting together to eat suya from the same newspaper wrap, to playing all sorts of games, to watching various shows on TV, to cracking all manner of inside jokes and coming up with silly nick names for each other – such fun memories I have!

As a child, I was still being formed. I was yet to come to a realization of who I was and as it is with any child, my perception of who I was, and my sense of self worth were greatly hinged on the opinions that those around me expressed.

I was the quietest of the three children. I was, in fact, extremely introverted. I was noticeably different from my siblings who were bubbly, outgoing and easy to fall in love with. I loved to stay indoors, with my head buried in a novel. Unlike my siblings who were science students, I loved arts and languages and I excelled there. Boy did I hate math! (Raise your hand if you’re in this club) I remember almost always bringing back my report sheet with the math row written in red. I used to fail that subject woefully.

I was also very chilled and never in a hurry. I guess you could say I was laidback. There were times this laidback nature got my parents and probably other adults around me irritated. It just seemed like I was lazy and liked my comfort zone.

There were several other things that were somewhat peculiar to me which the adults around me didn’t understand. Many of the things that made me different were expressed to me as weaknesses; and even the things that were indeed weaknesses weren’t just seen as such, but had now been made my identity.

So, for instance, I had someone look at my report sheet and call me an average student. Maybe it was an average performance, but rather than speak to the performance alone, my person was being labeled and that label stayed with me. I had someone say point blank “she does not know math”. That statement became such a reality for me that I was certain I could never do well in that subject and I really did struggle through it.
I had people label me “slow” because I was never in a rush and was quite laidback. I had people try to determine what I could or couldn’t do with my life based on what they thought were my strengths, weaknesses or limitations. I saw people pretty much write a script for my life.

Being a child is like being a sponge – you soak up everything and anything. You’re so malleable, you can be bent, shaped and twisted into anything and that’s why the things we experience as children go far into our future to either propel us to succeed or attempt to stand in the way of our success.

Little did I know that these words that had been spoken, these molds that had been made and these labels that had been put on me were seeds that had been planted in my heart and would cause me to have a distorted view of who I am and the huge potentials I carry.

So, lately, God has been dealing with me. He’s been saying “who told you that you can only do this and not that? Who told you this is a weakness? Who put this limitation on you? Who put this label on you? Not ME daughter, not ME”.

It has taken me a conscious effort to travel into my past, far into my childhood and even later years to begin a process of excavation – excavation of thoughts, ideas, opinions, words, seeds and labels that were not planted by God; daily, I fight to renew my mind and be reminded of the dynamite that I am!

Many of us have been conditioned to see ourselves in certain ways and through certain lenses. Our views about who we are, and what we can or cannot do have been shaped by some teacher, some aunty, some friend or even our well-intending parents. Some of us even have the degrees we have because someone somewhere thought that was what “fit” us.

No one has a right to label you who has not received a revelation of who you are. This, for someone, is a season of EXCAVATION. It’s time to uproot every seed of limitation, mediocrity, smallness and average mindedness that has been sown in our hearts. No, you’re not lazy. You’re not even shy. Yes, you can face that crowd and make that presentation with confidence. Never mind that they said you’re too loud or too forward. Never mind that they tried to shut you up or dim your light. You are not what they labeled you. You are phenomenal. You, like me, are dynamite! You can do absolutely anything God calls you to do whether or not you look the part. Please, be deliberate about not letting anyone label you, put you in a box, tell you what you can or cannot achieve or fit you into some existing mold.

Take some time to reflect on why you think the way you do, why you see yourself the way you do, what you consider your limitations and weaknesses. Often times, the things we think put us at a disadvantage are the very tools that God can use to propel us into all He has called us to be.

It is a continuous fight to live in the liberating truth of who God says you are; to decide not to settle for an inferior brand of who you really are – but, for everyday you choose to see yourself the way God does, you get one step closer to unleashing the mighty, mighty potential that is inside you!

Ponder on this:
• How have the opinions of those close to me defined the way I see myself?
• Are these opinions true?
• What steps can I take to excavate and redefine my identity?
Do share your thoughts with me!