God had been dealing with me on a whole lot of things. I had finally surrendered to Him and a process had begun in me; a process of pruning and character development. I had begun to find my strength and identity in Jesus again and even though I had just come out of a relationship that ended in an “Africa Magic” kind of way, I was experiencing God’s love, joy and peace more than ever before. I was stronger, wiser, and more resolute in my decision to wait for God’s best regardless of how long it took or what anyone thought of my messy relationship situations.
I however had the strangest feeling one night in December 2015. I had travelled with a friend for another friend’s wedding and we were spending the night at a hotel. Everything had gone perfectly well on that beautiful Friday. We were exhausted from the six-hour road trip and crashed into bed the moment we were settled in. My friend was asleep within minutes but I found I couldn’t sleep even though I was tired. Something was eating at me and I didn’t know what it was. I suddenly began to feel an overwhelming sense of loneliness. It was as though the devil was whispering in my ears that God didn’t love me and that He had abandoned me; that I was too much of a mess, had made too many mistakes and that I was just alone. There was such a heaviness in my heart that I don’t remember experiencing before or after that day.
I ran to the living room area of our suite and began to weep. I wept so hard, I thought my chest was going to explode and my friend would jerk up from sleep (thankfully she slept soundly and doesn’t know till she reads this what happened that night). I felt so alone. The negative thoughts were drowning me, taking my breath away.
In the midst of my tears, I refused to utter any negativity. I refused to agree with my feelings. While I felt so alone, I began to say repeatedly “Thank you Jesus because you are here with me, right here, right now”. I probably said that a hundred times. That was all I could muster; that was all I kept saying but oh the power in those words! They were more than enough! As I repeatedly spoke those words, I could almost feel God walk into the room and wrap His arms around me, assuring me that true to my declarations, He was indeed with me. I started to feel an overwhelming sense of peace again. My joy was being restored; my feelings had no choice but to align with the words of my mouth! I went to bed smiling, knowing that I had conquered my feelings with the Word of truth!
You see, feelings are very fickle. You can be on a high one minute and be on a low the next minute. The enemy seeks to control us by making us focus on the way we feel instead of focusing on the truth. One of the things we learn in our walk with God and in the process of maturing as believers is acting on God’s Word rather than how we feel. Your feelings are subject to change. The Word of God isn’t. You can impose the truth of God’s Word on your feelings. Your feelings will begin to respond to the words that you speak.
If you constantly say for instance “I’m just so tired, sad and depressed”, you actually begin to feel even worse off – more tired, sad, and depressed. If you however declare that you have God’s joy on your inside, that you’re whole and strong, your feelings will begin to align with what you say!
You can impose the truth on your feelings. It’s true that the feelings are there. Don’t try to fight your feelings. Just speak the truth over them. Those feelings will align with the words of your mouth.
Dear friend, decide today that you will speak the truth of God’s word over how you feel. You may indeed feel sad, hopeless, like things will never work out for you, like you can’t be free from falling sexually, like you’re constantly going to be trapped…but know this, your feelings are NOT the truth! You can impose the Word of God on your feelings today and they will submit to the truth!
So, I ask…what are you saying today?
