I laid fearfully awake in the middle of the night. It was very strange, the way I was feeling. It felt like a mix of extreme fear, anxiety and a heavy bout of sadness. I could swear that I was having difficulty breathing and I was going to have a panic attack. Surely, the thing I was worried about wasn’t enough to produce such a heavy feeling of helplessness. What was going on with me?
Over the past couple of months, I’ve been trusting God to help resolve a challenge. When I first realised the challenge, I was worried as anyone would be. I however sought wise counsel from a friend and prayed about it. As I took my eyes off the challenge and focused on Jesus, everything else began to fade away. I hardly thought of it anymore. I just knew that God, as always would come through for me. Even though the thoughts of the challenge would come lurking once in a while, I was in perfect peace because my gaze and attention were fully upon God and His word. My joy was intact because it was based on what I knew about God and His character. God and I have come a long way and I’ve proven Him too many times.
Like Peter, even though the storm was raging, I had been walking on the waves because I kept my eyes on Jesus and His word.
On this day though, I decided find out what my friend, Google had to say about my challenge. As you can probably imagine, it had nothing good to say to me. I was instantly filled with fear, doubt and discouragement. Rather than immediately put down my phone and speak The Word, I continued to scroll in search of more information from Google.
It was when Peter perceived and felt how strong the wind was that he became terrified. He had engaged his senses whilst acting in faith – the perfect recipe for a fear take-over. That was exactly what I was doing. Google had helped me see how strong the wind (my challenge) was and I became terrified.
What is remarkable in this account of Peter walking on water is that this storm had been raging vey strongly all along. He was only just realising it because He had shifted his focus away from The One who had the power to calm the stormy seas. In the same way, because I shifted my focus from God and His word, I suddenly became very aware of what I was going through and my heart was opened up to attack.
So as I laid awake in bed, I began to see that my mind was being heavily attacked by fear, anxiety and sadness not because of what I was going through – but because I shifted my focus away from the Giver of life and peace.
The Bible says in Isaiah 26:3 that God will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on Him – not he who has no challenges. The peace I had been previously experiencing right in the midst of my challenge was based on the fact that my mind had been stayed on God. I lost my peace (and joy) when my mind and focus shifted away from Him.
God’s word is eternally true. If you are utterly destitute of peace and joy, it’s not because things aren’t going well for you. It’s not because you have the biggest problems in the world or because your situation is the worst. It’s because your focus is wrongly placed. There’s no way that your mind will be stayed on God and you’ll lack peace and joy. The only reason your challenges are weighing you down so much is that you’ve forgotten that I AM is with you.
The moment I realised that my shift of focus was what opened my mind up to attack, I began to repent before God. I could feel Him saying “Tosin, we go way back. We have history. You’ve seen me do incredible things in your life. How can you toss me aside and let Google have the final say?”. I immediately asked God to have mercy on me and save me, because like Peter, I felt like I was sinking and about to be drowned.
Immediately I admitted my wrong and asked for His help, my peace was restored! I prayed and committed everything into His hands again and I’m determined with His help to forever leave it in His care.
You know what I love the most about this story of Peter and Jesus? It’s the fact that after Jesus saved Peter from sinking, they got back into the boat (it means Peter must have walked on water again!) and when the got into the boat, the wind ceased! This wind that had mercilessly beaten and tossed the disciples, caused Peter to doubt, sink and almost lose his life – this same wind was now gone.
What that tells me is that it won’t be long. God wants me to tell someone reading this, that “it won’t be long”. That raging storm will cease. That wind will end. It won’t last. God is saying “take courage. Stop being afraid. I AM here”
I’m so greatly encouraged and I hope you are too! This is a call for us to keep our eyes fixed on The One whose very presence calms the seas. That’s the only way that we can truly be in perfect peace and continue to experience incomprehensible joy.
Ditch Google. Stop feeding your fears and doubts. Stop listening to what society says about not being married at a certain age. Your energy flows where your attention goes. You’re all fagged out because your energy has been flowing in the wrong direction. Give God all of your focus and let Him infuse you with His strength!
Your best days are here!
