Bonjouuuuuuurrrr ma famille! Whoosh! Has it been a hot minute or what?!
It’s been nearly 3 years since I showed up here, and while we’ve engaged on other platforms and in other ways, I’ve totally missed writing and sharing my heart here.
I didn’t think I’d be blogging again any time soon, but my heart has been so drawn to this place in the last couple of days. I want to say I’ve missed writing, but the truth is, I’ve never stopped writing – whether it’s on Instagram, to my mailing list, or just in my journal. I’ve just really missed being here!
My life has been SUPER eventful (I mean it’s been three years!) and I have so much to share with you, but there’s no rush! By God’s grace, we have a very long time to unpack some of my biggest learnings as I share my journey with you in all vulnerability.
Honestly, I’m so proud of the woman I’ve evolved into within the last three years! God has done and continues to do such heavy work within my heart and soul that I’m transfigured into this person that former versions of me do not recognise. I love it so much!
A whole African queen o!
My evolution wasn’t without days of tears, wrestling with God as He unearthed stuff buried deep beneath layers of fear, pain, and insecurities. It wasn’t without questions and sighs, contemplations and doubts. Mehn, there were days where I felt like God, do you want to tear me? Dis work no dey finish (doesn’t this work ever end?)? But I can tell you for free that the rewards of God’s work of transformation are beyond wonderful! Goshhhhh, it’s so sweet to look back and see how far you’ve come! It’s so wonderful to go over God’s dealings with you (especially if you have a habit of journaling) and see His ways and patterns with you!
I really, truly love the life that I now live, and it’s not because of any material possessions – far from it – it’s because of a deep work that continues to be done within me that produces the kinds of realities that God designed me to walk in. Walking with God is sweeeet!
I sat in my living room last night, just looking back on some of my experiences and thanking the God of my journey for all that He’d done, and most especially, for conquering me!
The idea of being conquered by something or someone surely doesn’t sound positive. I know! Being conquered makes you defeated, vanquished, or simply put, a loser, not so? Well, it really depends on who or what conquers you!
You see, with God, to be truly victorious is to be conquered by Him. When God conquers you, nothing and no one else can! When God conquers you, you rise and remain victorious in all the battles of life.
There’s a portion of Scripture in Psalm 23 that I really love. It’s in The Passion Translation (TPT), and it says:
“Fear will never conquer me, for you already have.” (verse 4)
Whoooooosh! It’s so good!
I’ve definitely wrestled with God in this my life and I’m just so glad that He won!
To be conquered by God is to be progressively and completely surrendered to Him in every single area of your life. It’s to be ruled, controlled and dominated by His Spirit regardless of how you feel about any matter or situation. It’s to be Spirit-led even when your flesh is crying out for mercy!
It’s to realise that you’re under no obligation to live by the impulses of your flesh, and to choose God above all else. It’s to be daily transformed by the renewing of your mind. It’s to be subscribed to heaven’s philosophy such that no human wisdom makes sense to you if it’s not derived from God’s own superior logic as expressed in His logos (His word).
It’s to be brainwashed by the Spirit into life in the Spirit! It’s to have a broken and contrite heart. It’s to throw yourself recklessly at God’s mercy knowing that He’s ever merciful. It’s to seek heaven’s interests and be motivated by them. It’s to have a heart that is circumcised by the Spirit and an appetite that is conditioned by Christ. It’s to learn and keep learning Christ that you may progressively be conformed to His image.
To be conquered by God is to lose yourself in Him – to cease to exist as His life becomes formed within you and the life you live reflects the life in Him!
Galatians 2:20 is one of my favourite scriptures. It really anchors me, and it summarises this so powerfully. It says:
“My old identity has been co-crucified with Christ and no longer lives. And now the essence of this new life is no longer mine, for the Anointed One lives his life through me—we live in union as one! My new life is empowered by the faith of the Son of God who loves me so much that he gave himself for me, dispensing his life into mine!” (TPT)
Whooooosh! The old me (the old you, too) is dead and gone! It’s been conquered by God, and I’m steady being conquered by Him! Amen to that!
Ahhhh God and His ways! I marvel at the depth and riches of His great wisdom – that though we’re conquered, we’re more than conquerors!
We conquer fear, shame, guilt, condemnation, anxiety, depression, pain, heartbreak, bitterness, resentment, the flesh and the adversary in God’s conquering of us! We conquer the world in His conquering of us!
So, let me re-introduce myself to you.
My name is Oluwatosin Sanni, and I’m a CONQUERED VICTOR.
May I meet you please?