I naturally love my own company. I don’t miss people a lot. Haha! I enjoy being by myself – just give me a good book and you won’t hear from me for hours. In addition to this is the fact that I used to be very conscious of what people thought about me. I wanted to appear perfect and seem like I had it all together. I never wanted anyone to think I had struggles or areas where things weren’t perfect. So if I was going through a tough time, I would simply withdraw from friends and everyone. I would stay locked in and try to figure things out on my own. I would even get offended if people started asking me if something was wrong with me! I’m thinking back and wondering “where did I get this idea that I needed to keep up a perfect appearance from?!”

This isolation and withdrawal was one of the tools that the enemy was using to keep me bound, sad and constantly wallowing in self pity. I was so worried about people thinking something was wrong with me because I’d had various “failed relationships”. As if there’s anything new under the sun! Truth is, there are people that have had it even worse than I had! I needed to have a good company of friends, a support system or at least a trusted friend that could help me through my tough times. Thank God I eventually realized it.

I had become close to this lady who would later be such a tool in God’s hands to bring me healing and restore my confidence in Him but I didn’t know how much I would need her.

One day, while I was grieving over the end of a relationship that was already leading to marriage, I reached out to her. I had been so sad and depressed that day that I wasn’t sure I could make it through the day myself. She ran down to me and began to speak to me. She spoke of her experiences and also spoke the word of God to my hearing. She spoke with so much confidence in God’s word that my tears began to dry and I listened intently with renewed hope! By the time we were done talking, I felt more certain than ever that God’s beautiful plans for my life were just about to unfold; that my best days were ahead of me and not behind me; that there was absolutely nothing wrong with me! That conversation changed my life and outlook forever! Today, I’m more than glad that I reached out.

Loved one, you cannot do life by yourself. Oh I know that not everyone can be trusted but I also know that God sends people our way to make our lives’ journeys easier. He sends people to us to hold our hands through tough times; to be the voice of reason when we need it. Don’t let the devil isolate you! You need godly counsel and wisdom; godly relationships. Someone or people that will remind you of God’s love, remind you that you’re not alone and provide support.

You must understand that no one has a perfect life and you’re not an exception. You don’t need to prove a point to anyone. You don’t need anyone to think your life is perfect. Your self worth cannot be based on other people’s perceptions of your life’s situation. A healthy self image says “Oh yes, I’m imperfect and even though not everything in my life is perfect, I’m grateful for the things that are working out and I’m just as perfect as I need to be”

Ask God to bring godly relationships your way. God put us in families, communities, churches and groups for a reason. He knew we would need each other.

I pray that God sends you friends that build you up, help you in your faith walk and strengthen your confidence in Jesus!

I pray that you’ve been blessed by this series on “Overcoming Negativity”. Thank you for your comments and contributions! I enjoy reading from you. I look forward to sharing more with you in subsequent posts.

Love always.

God had been dealing with me on a whole lot of things. I had finally surrendered to Him and a process had begun in me; a process of pruning and character development. I had begun to find my strength and identity in Jesus again and even though I had just come out of a relationship that ended in an “Africa Magic” kind of way, I was experiencing God’s love, joy and peace more than ever before. I was stronger, wiser, and more resolute in my decision to wait for God’s best regardless of how long it took or what anyone thought of my messy relationship situations.

I however had the strangest feeling one night in December 2015. I had travelled with a friend for another friend’s wedding and we were spending the night at a hotel. Everything had gone perfectly well on that beautiful Friday. We were exhausted from the six-hour road trip and crashed into bed the moment we were settled in. My friend was asleep within minutes but I found I couldn’t sleep even though I was tired. Something was eating at me and I didn’t know what it was. I suddenly began to feel an overwhelming sense of loneliness. It was as though the devil was whispering in my ears that God didn’t love me and that He had abandoned me; that I was too much of a mess, had made too many mistakes and that I was just alone. There was such a heaviness in my heart that I don’t remember experiencing before or after that day.

I ran to the living room area of our suite and began to weep. I wept so hard, I thought my chest was going to explode and my friend would jerk up from sleep (thankfully she slept soundly and doesn’t know till she reads this what happened that night). I felt so alone. The negative thoughts were drowning me, taking my breath away.

In the midst of my tears, I refused to utter any negativity. I refused to agree with my feelings. While I felt so alone, I began to say repeatedly “Thank you Jesus because you are here with me, right here, right now”. I probably said that a hundred times. That was all I could muster; that was all I kept saying but oh the power in those words! They were more than enough! As I repeatedly spoke those words, I could almost feel God walk into the room and wrap His arms around me, assuring me that true to my declarations, He was indeed with me. I started to feel an overwhelming sense of peace again. My joy was being restored; my feelings had no choice but to align with the words of my mouth! I went to bed smiling, knowing that I had conquered my feelings with the Word of truth!

You see, feelings are very fickle. You can be on a high one minute and be on a low the next minute. The enemy seeks to control us by making us focus on the way we feel instead of focusing on the truth. One of the things we learn in our walk with God and in the process of maturing as believers is acting on God’s Word rather than how we feel. Your feelings are subject to change. The Word of God isn’t. You can impose the truth of God’s Word on your feelings. Your feelings will begin to respond to the words that you speak.

If you constantly say for instance “I’m just so tired, sad and depressed”, you actually begin to feel even worse off – more tired, sad, and depressed. If you however declare that you have God’s joy on your inside, that you’re whole and strong, your feelings will begin to align with what you say!

You can impose the truth on your feelings. It’s true that the feelings are there. Don’t try to fight your feelings. Just speak the truth over them. Those feelings will align with the words of your mouth.

Dear friend, decide today that you will speak the truth of God’s word over how you feel. You may indeed feel sad, hopeless, like things will never work out for you, like you can’t be free from falling sexually, like you’re constantly going to be trapped…but know this, your feelings are NOT the truth! You can impose the Word of God on your feelings today and they will submit to the truth!

So, I ask…what are you saying today?