The Truth About Knowing God’s Will

It had been a beautiful dream and I was supposed to wake up excited, thankful and claiming it by faith. Strangely, the reverse was the case. I woke up scared and worried, almost feeling like I had no right to experience something that beautiful.

This must have been in February, 2016. I had just met my husband a month prior and our friendship was progressing pretty well. I knew in my heart that this was it but I was very careful not to get emotionally entangled too soon. Experience had taught me better. This time, I was going to wait on the Lord and receive clearance from Him. If God wasn’t going to be with me in this, I would turn around in the blink of an eye. I had learnt the hard way.

You see, in the past, I had done things my own way. I was always already neck-deep in the relationship before I would rather hypocritically pray about it (Seriously, what’s the point in asking God for direction when you’ve already made up your mind and are going your own way?). Those relationships always failed and I know they did because I never truly trusted God. I was always led by my emotions and ended up falling short of God’s will for me.

Speaking about God’s will. I always hated it when I told my mum about a potential husband and she would say “Well, let the will of God be done”. I always took that as a “No”. I felt like this whole God’s will thing was just too stressful and difficult to attain. I just couldn’t be patient enough to present a guy I liked before God and wait for direction. The whole thing just seemed too cumbersome. Besides, when you’re physically entangled, you know deep in your heart that you’ve strayed from God’s will and that makes you not even want to involve God. At least I knew this even if I wouldn’t admit it.

By the time I faced several brick walls and failed relationships and God had dealt with my heart, I started to truly and genuinely want His will. Desiring God’s will was a good thing. What was bad was that I wanted God’s will so badly that I started to live in the fear of missing out on God’s will for my life. I wanted to please God so badly that I was scared to make a mistake and marry wrongly.

Now back to the dream. I had dreamt of my wedding day. It was beautiful. I looked gorgeous. There was joy and peace in the atmosphere and I had happily said “I do”. When I woke up, rather than be excited, I felt fearful. I felt like it couldn’t happen for me that easily. I felt like I had to labour some more, fast and pray for weeks to be able to say that I was indeed in God’s will.

Soon enough, I realized that this was not God’s plan for me as His child! I began to see that God wanted to lead me even more than I wanted to be led by Him. God has called us to a life of rest and peace, not a life of fear of missing out on His will. I struggled when I wasn’t involving God. Now that I was involving God, I wasn’t supposed to struggle!

Whew! I hadn’t realized how long this post would be when I started writing. I have decided to break it into two parts. In the next post, I will talk about how I overcame my fear of missing God’s will, understanding how simple and easy it is to walk in God’s will and living in the peace that comes with walking in divine direction.

Till then, know that I love you and look forward to hearing your testimonies.