During my online book launch last month, one of my mentors was speaking about associations.

In the past, she had been very social – hitting the clubs, partying with friends, and just generally “having the time of her life”.

When God called her to Himself and into a life of purpose, one of the first things He stripped her of, was her association of friends.

She spoke to us of how painful, but necessary the separations were. For where God was taking her, she just could not hang out with certain people anymore – not because she was walking in pride –but because she understood that those relationships would certainly distract her from walking in God’s purpose for her life.

As God removed those relationships from her life, He also began replacing them with destiny alliances and purpose partnerships. Her purpose and walk with God became the very filters that determined the kinds of people she allowed into her space.

Relationships are one the most important things in a man’s life. They can uplift a man or they can pull him down. They can lead him into his God-ordained destiny or they can cause him to fall into a ditch. They can enrich him or they can impoverish him. They can make him wiser or they can turn him into a fool.

If you want to grow in wisdom, spend time with the wise. Walk with the wicked and you’ll eventually become just like them.

PROVERBS 13:20 (TPT)

Relationship (not just marital) decisions are some of the most crucial decisions we will ever make in our lifetime. They can establish or destroy us.

Relationship decisions are not to be taken lightly or casually. They must be made with destiny and purpose in mind. We cannot afford to make such destiny decisions based on sentiments such as how long we’ve known the person(s). The fact that you’ve known them since nursery school shouldn’t give them an automatic pass into your inner circle.

We must be able to discern the seasons of our lives and determine when certain relationships no longer serve us on the journey to where we’re going. We should, without being prideful, re-order those relationships. Some relationships are seasonal and some are life-long. We must, by the help of the Holy Spirit determine which is which and be guided accordingly.

Notice that I’m careful to place my emphasis on relationships and not just friendships.

Here’s why.

Not every God-ordained relationship is a friendship. Not everyone God brings into your life is assigned to be your friend, yet such relationships are so significant to your life and the work that God is doing in it!

The mastermind group of The Proverbs Challenge is an association. By being in there, you are growing spiritually, getting wiser and becoming more equipped for a life of purpose. Your being in that association is having a far reaching impact on your thinking and mindset – yet, you may be unable to point to many or any who are your friends in there.

The goal is to walk with the wise. It’s to constantly situate yourself in godly environments because the more you do, the more you’ll see the need to audit all the other vital relationships in your life!

I belong to a firebrand, subscription based membership community called Immerse Inner Circle and my life has changed, my wisdom level has been elevated, I have grown radically in my purpose walk just because I’m walking among the wise.

I have gained godly associations – sisters, accountability partners, prayer partners, and kingdom allies. I understand each person’s role in my life and I do not, as my coach would say, emotionalize those relationships. Not all of them are chummy friends of mine, but all of them play significant roles in my life, as I do in theirs.

The goal really is to situate yourself in environments where wise people dwell – and you will be transformed for it. As you do, negative behaviors, relationships, thought patterns, mindsets, beliefs and conditionings will naturally begin to give way to the right ones.

Your associations are either transformative or destructive. You must be intentional about building the right ones!  

What are insights are you gaining from Proverbs 13?

Tell your friends