I couldn’t understand why she was so hostile towards me.
One day we would be really cool and all jovial, and the next day, she would give me a cold shoulder.
With time, I began to experience even more hostility than warmth and friendship. I would later realize that I wasn’t the only recipient of her hostility. She just couldn’t help her habit of snapping at people and being extremely critical of others. It was almost as though she didn’t like human beings.
She was like a big sister to me and I was around her very often. She often criticized and made unkind jokes about me. I experienced her criticize others so much and so often that her attitude began to rub off on me.
The natural consequence was that I became very critical of other people too; quick to spot negativity, quick to judge, very irritable and extremely intolerant.
I could make up a whole scenario in my head, act out the script and pretty much start a cold war with someone based on something that existed in my brain. I would stop talking to someone because I had a fight with them in my head. Sure enough there could have been a tiny trigger from my interactions with whoever I was picking a fight with but I was often acting based on an exaggerated version that existed in my mind.
When I read verse 30-32 of Proverbs 3, I realized how deeply important our relationship with others is to God.
Dear one, you can have a great relationship with the Father and have access to His presence, but there are levels of intimacy with God that you will never unlock until you start speaking His love languages.
One of His love languages is genuine love for other people. Could it be that you’re struggling in your relationship with God because you walk in such pride, criticism, indifference and hostility towards others? Are quick to pick a fight with someone who hasn’t wronged you and then blame it on your “mood”?
If you’re going to go deeper in your walk with the Lord, you’re going to have to learn to work your love muscles. You’ll need to learn to genuinely love, care for, and be kind towards others. You’re going to have to start looking out for the welfare of the people God has placed in your life.
“And why would you quarrel with those who have done nothing wrong to you? Is that a chip on your shoulder? Don’t act like those bullies or learn their ways. Every violent thug is despised by the Lord, but every tender lover finds friendship with God and will hear his intimate secrets.”
Proverbs 3:30-32 TPT
The Bible calls those who walk in hostility toward others bullies – even violent thugs!
I really love verse 32. It says every tender lover finds friendship with God and will hear his intimate secrets.
I don’t know about you but I want to hear God’s intimate secrets. I want Him to speak to me as a man speaks to his friend. I want Him to gist with me in my dreams and give me heavenly encounters in my waking moments. I want to be part of His inner-circle – the one He reveals the deepest mysteries and secrets to.
If it would take me pulling down the walls of pride, hostility, criticism, and judgement; if it would take me walking in true love, genuine care and concern – I would gladly do it!
Let’s quit being childish and blaming stuff on personality types and mood swings. Don’t let your personality type hinder you from accessing deeper levels in your walk with God. Quit getting offended by things that don’t even matter! Stop creating scenarios that exist nowhere else but in your head. Quit the jealousy. Quit the envy. Let the Lord deal with the spirit of pride in your heart.
We love people, not because they’re loveable, but because it’s a sure way into the heart of the One who matters the most to us.
I am strongly convinced (based on scripture) that this so important to the Father. Please think deeply about your relationships and begin to make amends where necessary. Let love be your code all-day, everyday.
Question of the day: What are some of the most striking insights you received as you studied Proverbs 3 today?